I wanna buy a hat, adopt an accent, and become a newsie!

(Disclosure. The title of this post is mostly entirely random. Minus the part where I spread news. Because that's what I'm about to do...)

So I'm dressed in my new jeans that shouldn't cost as much as they do, and my little sisters shirt(s) and shoes. (Angie, I just spent like five minutes trying to get the shirts to layer just right, and that made me think of your first date with Klane. Which might be creeper. But I just thought I'd let you know! (At least I think that's what it was... I know I read something about layering shirts just so...) )

Aaand I still have like. Two hours til the date. (Sigh. What now? Maybe I'll bake to seem more domestic or something. ;) Then when the house smells good he'll be impressed, and I can eat it emotionally when I get home if the date is bad, or eat it euphorically if it's good! See? I'm not so unintelligent after all!)

I was semi tempted to snap a picture and give you an inventory list of how I'm ready for the date. Is that sad? Does that mean I've been in a dating dry spell for the summer and miss social interactions with the opposite gender? (The answer is a resounding yes, my friends.)

... I'm pretty sure I had something I was going to blog about besides ramblings while I wait for two hours to pass. (Or however much time it is now. :p)

Oh!

I'm hot stuff, is what I was going to blog about. (Well, not really. But... you'll see.)

So. The title of this story is called:

 "Trekking and partying with (Hey!) Mambo Italiano's"

Once upon a time I worked a double on Saturday. Toward the end of the shift, when I was feeling mildly grumpy and REEEally ready to go home and crawl into bed, the cute Italian man with the pretty eyes and wavy hair came to my register. Again. (You're thinking, "Now what's wrong with that? He sounds dang good looking!" And you're right. He was. Incredibly so. Complete with an attractive 5 o'clock shadow and of course the accent! But, he'd been to my register three times before that with his entourage of staring, laughing, and talking-in-a-foreign-language buddies. You'll understand if you've ever been looked at by laughing foreign speaking people. You feel like the but of their joke. Which is a marvelous thing to feel, I assure you.)

Mr. Mambo smiled at me and asked, "Do you know where we can go trekking tonight?" 

"Oh, I don't know very much about the trails, you'll have to ask the rangers. Sorry," (See how I smoothly evaded talking to a person when I could get out of it? :p I'll give information if the interps are busy, but it was dead in there. So I'm just giving them job security and stocking my section. As it should be.)

"Oh, no... like drinking and partying." (Said in accent so that drinking still sounds like trekking.)

Confused look on my face for a moment of silence...

"Oh! Drinking! Um, I think Foster's sells alcohol..." (gives directions, blah blah blah)

"Ok, thank you." Smiles mischievously, "And," bigger smile, "what are you doing tonight?"

"I am going home." (Said firmly, but not in a way that would be too rude.)

Mr. Mambo is still staring at me expectantly. As if this was an invite for him. As if I was waiting for a sexy tourist like him to sweep me off my feet to the nearest pub, seeing how I'm under aged and depend on sexy tourists to buy me margaritas. 

I was forced to stoop to a slightly more rude level, you see. So I added another key word to my previous statement: 

"Alone."

Mr. Mambo's smile finally started to fade. Poor sexy tourist man.

"Oh." (Clears throat) "Ok, goodnight."

Really?? Haha, do I look like I'm easy? Or like I really want to be a fling for people on vacation? (I just thought of a whole slew of comebacks, but none of them are very lady like and you'll all think me inappropriate if I say they've got services for that... Oh. Shoot.)

Truly, the things that happen at Bryce... (shakes head disapprovingly.)

However. I have a date! Tonight! In slightly more than one hour!

(And you want to know a vain sounding, braggish secret? I have a second date! Next week. With my pretend twitterpation victim!)

So now I'm going to go sing in a hairbrush in the kitchen, or something equally mature and random.

(But since posts are insanely boring without pictures...)

(I apologize for the immodesty. But...He's the stinkin cutest squint!)

Oh my gosh. I have to go watch Bones now.